"You See The Light Of God, I See Somebody Losing"

I wouldn't describe myself as a humanist. Just a human. But this description of The Meaning Of Life for humanists sums it up as well as anything does for me.

http://www.upworthy.com/if-you-ever-wondered-what-people-who-dont-believe-in-god-actually-believe-you-should-watch-this-am2-5d

I like Stephen Fry. He comes from a privileged background, but has battled with life problems, being gay in a still sceptical, though slightly more welcoming world,  having suffered from quite deep depression, and being generally too clever for his own good. But to my mind he comes up smelling of roses. I love his program QI too. It lives up to it's name...Quite Interesting, but goes that little bit further. I like understatement. Much rather see a down-played entrance with a fantastic outcome, than a hyped up intro leading to a let down. QI has been a lovely, funny Friday night wind down for me.

Stephen is in the avidly anti-religious camp. I think a lot of people from a non-religious background actually shoot a lot of red herrings (or whatever the proverb is) in their attempts to make some really quite sensible points in regard to religion. Sometimes Fry does that too, despite being a very sensible chap. But I totally understand why he would  have Fry-ed Chips on his shoulder. Gays have suffered immensely, and still do, at the hands of misguided religious prejudice cloaked in supposedly God ordained authorisation.

And to be honest the battle for the righteous treatment of homosexuals is far from over. Even a more enlightened, compassionate Evangelical church is using a whole heap of mental and semantic gymnastics when trying to practise that compassion with a confusing belief that people who don't feel the same sexual urges as them are still going against God's will. "I love you, but not your sin". And then there is the horrific and open prejudice of some churches in parts of fundamentalist America, and whole countries in Africa (the unwelcome fruit of western missionary fervour.) And then again the muslim world where often, if anything, the attitudes towards gays are even more horrific.

So QI and Stephen Fry's lordly presence, is a beacon of hope but not a sign, by any means, that justice, equality, and freedom of self expression are on the universal horizon.


The line "You see the light of God, I see somebody losing" is from the Fee Comes Fourth song Devotion - April 4th 2013

"I'm Not Going To Heaven"

Well, probably not. Depends on so many things. Which particular subsection of which particular Faith have got the entry conditions right. Or if it exists. Some people are CERTAIN it does. I have quite a few doubts, but that's me. I suspect I'm a lost cause.

 Some of the more sensible religious guru's will say that it is better to simply get on with living the best life you can live, than trying to second guess God (if he or/and she exists and is into life after death). Which is quite the best way to approach these matters I think. Deal with the stuff that we can actually DO something about. There in lies the way to paradise.

 I don't think I would describe myself as a Belinda Carlisle-ist though. Heaven isn't a place on earth either. For a simple reason, neatly expressed by an old Christian truism aimed at those who travelled around trying to find THE best church congregation to be a member of. To them it was said by an anonymous saint (we'll call her Gertie): "If you find the perfect church don't join...you wouldn't want to spoil things would you?"

Gertie was right Belinda. Finding a perfect place on earth, in church or mosque, football stadium or music gig (not EVEN the Kintyre Songwriters Festival, though that's pretty close) is impossible because if you or I find it, Belinda, it's gonna get tainted immediately.

So, does that make me a killjoy who wants to, um, kill the joyful hope of those who think that there is something better, something perfect round the next corner, or the next life? No, it doesn't. I'm quite happy to live in a world where people have faith in things that cannot be seen. I'm quite happy to live with and love people of faith.

It's just that for me, the journey is the thing. This moment. And if I do or don't manage to extract and consume every last particle of Life out of it (which, more often than not, I don't) then it is my loss (and sometimes my wonderful gain). Nobody else's. For behold, I am the creator of Heaven, and I am it's Destroyer.

But there is always the next step to take. One more step. Just one more.

Hmm. Seems like I do have faith after all.


The line "I'm not going to heaven" is from my Fee Comes Fourth song Devotion - April 4th 2013

"I'm Not Going To Hell"

The idea of Hell is terrible. Despicable actually. Nothing to do with justice at all. It comes from the same people who brought you: Compulsory Schooling, Tesco, Walmart, Papal Infallibility, Original Sin, BBC Infallibility, The News, Slavery, Empire, The X-Factor, and The Bedroom Tax.

OK. Some of these people may be your employers. Which doesn't make you children of hell. YOU can bring a bit of life, and freedom and hope into The Fire. We've all been there. And on our better days we know that change is possible.

But, it is people who brought you the concept of Hell. Not God. And that is a hopeful thing. Because if it was God you couldn't do a thing about it. You would be subject to those rules. You'd either be in or out, regardless of the fact that you had absolutely NO choice in being here, on planet earth, in the first place.

But because Hell is a human concept, that means we have the ability to change the rules.

It would be a sin not to.


The line "I'm not going to hell" is from my song Devotion - April 4th 2014

"I'm Not Going To Heaven, I'm Not Going To Hell"

I am a fairly rare breed. We all change as people, but not many leave the tribe they were born into. Most people tend to stick, to a greater or lesser extent, with the one they're brought up with, and are happy to accept the label even if it's only a label and not a sign of anything deeper. For instance the Catholic who doesn't go to mass, or necessarily believe in God, but still identifies with the wider culture...the football team, the guilt, the Pope's infallibility etc. Some might not have labels they wear openly, but if you are born into a secular, humanist family, you're likely to continue seeing yourself as part of the non-religious world.

To be honest that's a fairly pragmatic way of approaching things. Making the best of what you've been given. Taking what you like from the pile, leaving the rest, but still having a tribe to belong to.

I don't think there is any superiority to be claimed in being an idealist, albeit a pragmatic one, and someone for whom the fundamental truth of an issue is important. But never the less, that is the kind of person I am. And that kind of person is likely to question even their relationship with the tribe that brought them up. 

As a result I have experienced two large portions of my life with two very different world views. I started off with the one, a very all encompassing one, which was evangelical christianity. And because it is so all encompassing, and I'm a sensitive soul who never wanted to offend anyone, least of all God, this resulted in a slow, painful, but wholly unavoidable process of changing my mind. I doubt I could have acted any differently.

It is still difficult, because unlike some born again atheists, I don't want to divorce myself from the people and friendships of that other world. On the contrary, in some ways I am quite keen to build relationships and bridges, because everything bad that happens on this planet, happens when we put the needs of our own sub-tribe above the wider world.

But there is a grieving involved in leaving a tribe. Especially a tribe that affects every area of life. So I don't find that communication easy. And although I have absolutely no desire to steal anyones faith, how do I honestly communicate with someone when they believe,  for instance, that the bible is God's word, and can be allowed to usurp (if it comes down to that) a reasoned argument. Which is, of course, a wholly logical stand point within it's own parameters, if you believe that God has access to a higher reasoning that we have not yet acquired. And that he speaks through the people who wrote the bible.

You'd think it would be easier because I come from that world. And trust me, I was completely immersed. In some ways yes it is, in some ways no, it's harder. The long and short of it is that this sort of communication is a work in progress for me. Some would say "why bother?". I don't know really? It just matters to me. And I know it's just as difficult for the ones who are trying to genuinely communicate with me.  I appreciate those who try, particularly when they don't try to hide too much behind "God's Word" but engage on more neutral ground.


The line "I'm not going to heaven, I'm not going to hell" is from my song Devotion of April 4th 2013 at Fee Comes Fourth