"When The Boy Became A Man"

I don't particularly like the entrapment tactics of Facebook, but I still think it is the most democratic media on the Worldwide Webnet.

One thing I like is the fact that age doesn't really matter. I've read stuff by people who are far younger than me, and who have a far better grasp of language than I do, and often an incredibly mature and/or insightful attitude. But I really only notice their age in passing.  Or their sex or background. What matters is the words.  The ideas. And I can be opened up by those wherever they come from. And sometimes I am humbled and realise that I'm not as smart or able or wise as I'd like to be.

Which is good. Plenty of reason to stay alive when there's still a long way to your destination. As I get older I'm actually getting more hopeful about the future. Not particularly my future. My moods are too variable. But I think, on a world wide scale, that the people with the good, creative, constructive ideas are going to beat the numpties.

You heard it here first.


The line "When the boy became a man" is from the Fee Comes Fourth song Big Dream, Little Dream - February 4th 2013

"You See The Light Of God, I See Somebody Losing"

I wouldn't describe myself as a humanist. Just a human. But this description of The Meaning Of Life for humanists sums it up as well as anything does for me.

http://www.upworthy.com/if-you-ever-wondered-what-people-who-dont-believe-in-god-actually-believe-you-should-watch-this-am2-5d

I like Stephen Fry. He comes from a privileged background, but has battled with life problems, being gay in a still sceptical, though slightly more welcoming world,  having suffered from quite deep depression, and being generally too clever for his own good. But to my mind he comes up smelling of roses. I love his program QI too. It lives up to it's name...Quite Interesting, but goes that little bit further. I like understatement. Much rather see a down-played entrance with a fantastic outcome, than a hyped up intro leading to a let down. QI has been a lovely, funny Friday night wind down for me.

Stephen is in the avidly anti-religious camp. I think a lot of people from a non-religious background actually shoot a lot of red herrings (or whatever the proverb is) in their attempts to make some really quite sensible points in regard to religion. Sometimes Fry does that too, despite being a very sensible chap. But I totally understand why he would  have Fry-ed Chips on his shoulder. Gays have suffered immensely, and still do, at the hands of misguided religious prejudice cloaked in supposedly God ordained authorisation.

And to be honest the battle for the righteous treatment of homosexuals is far from over. Even a more enlightened, compassionate Evangelical church is using a whole heap of mental and semantic gymnastics when trying to practise that compassion with a confusing belief that people who don't feel the same sexual urges as them are still going against God's will. "I love you, but not your sin". And then there is the horrific and open prejudice of some churches in parts of fundamentalist America, and whole countries in Africa (the unwelcome fruit of western missionary fervour.) And then again the muslim world where often, if anything, the attitudes towards gays are even more horrific.

So QI and Stephen Fry's lordly presence, is a beacon of hope but not a sign, by any means, that justice, equality, and freedom of self expression are on the universal horizon.


The line "You see the light of God, I see somebody losing" is from the Fee Comes Fourth song Devotion - April 4th 2013

"Touch Me If You Are Out There And Equally Lost"

I write quite a lot of words one way and another.

I don't write them to myself. I'm usually writing them to someone, even if, as is the case with this blog, I don't know who that person or persons might be, on any given day.

Today I feel lost. It's been creeping up on me. I seem to be very bad at real conversations, even though I've been under the impression that I am OK with words.

I really don't want to be spouting words. I'd rather have conversations. And I appreciate the people who have talked to me and "liked" me. Whatever you've said.

Think that's all I've got today.


The line "Touch me if you are out there and equally lost" is from the Fee Comes Fourth song Sometimes I Cry - November 4th 2014

"You Got Hundreds, I Got Thousands"

Well, in a short while, Fee trivia lovers, I will be off to the CO-OP to spend £80. Because IF I spend £80 I have a receipt which guarantees that they will give me £8 back.

It isn't a bad deal, but I have to do it now. This day. March 19th 2014. If I do it tomorrow, March 20th 2014, I will not get £8 back on the £80 I spend. Which would probably mean I wouldn't spent it. 

Hmm. Am I at the mercy of CO-OP in this matter? I mean, it's not hard for me to spend £80 on provisions, given that there are 8 members of this household at the moment. Just one member can manage to snaffle £10 in no time at all. And also I personally prefer to shop at CO-OP though my good wife prefers The Tesco. I despise The Tesco (not it's lovely staff I hasten to add, but the company) though I am not precisely sure why. CO-OP for some reason, is a purer entity in my head. 

But all the same, I am being coerced just a little bit. Perhaps I wouldn't spend anymore in the long run anyway, but if CO-OP  really wants to reward my custom, perhaps they could consider giving me random money, after random bouts of shopping. This would make me even happier than the present system, in which I have to keep hold of a very perishable piece of paper AND beware of the date AND try to time my £80 shopping trip needs with that date. Random gifts of money, in comparison, would feel wonderful, and would almost guarantee my return. 

As a side note to all of this I would like to report that after many, many shopping trips I am somewhat of an expert at guestimating the amount of shopping in a trolley WITHOUT even adding it up as I go along. I can just look and KNOW. Last 2 trips I was within £1 of the correct amount. One was slightly below resulting in the quick addition of a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate to the list. Shame. If I'd been a bit more out I could have justified a bottle of red. 

The line "You got hundreds, I got thousands" as well as being bad grammar is also a line on my Fee Come's Fourth song Have Your Cake And Eat It - September 4th 2012

"This Whole World Just Seems To Pass You By"

There is one thought that almost always hits me right between the eyeballs whenever I visit new places. It is this:

A whole world has been carrying on, day after day, without my awareness. And that is happening all the time, everywhere, even in the places I do know. An almost eternal millennia of experiences, interactions, conversations, interruptions, imaginings, workdays, Sundays, holidays, good days, bad days. And I know nothing about them. I am dead to those worlds.

But when I do have that thought, it makes me curious. It makes my imagination spark up. It makes me hungry for more new places, and experiences, and interactions of my own. And this might look like a distracted discontent with the world I do know. I don't think it is that though. I think it's about the search for life, and the battle against stagnation. It's about sucking that marrow till it's bone dry.

It's one reason why I don't want to spend too much time dwelling on past moments. And I think the best storytelling whether it be in conversation or song, in poem, or novel,  painting or photograph, doesn't merely capture its subject. It attempts to release it. To make it new and inspiring and a catalyst to new experiences and new moments.

I have only ever written one limerick. It's a silly thing. But it reminds me of one moment in time on a Hebridean island with a friend from afar. It's a gentle, smile inducing memory. And it makes me want to live for more of those times. But differently. So...

There was a Doctor from Persia
Who discovered the cure for inertia
He visited Gigha, got some cows up the rear
And the weather it couldn't have been worser.


The line "This whole world just seems to pass you by" is from my song Hey Jean which was almost, but not quite, released on my album A Human Being. But it will have it's day.

                                             Gigha

                                              A Cow

A Doctor From Persia (Clue: not me)

"I Am Standing On A Mountain High"

I'm trying out some trainers that mimic barefootedness without the bare feet.

Yes. I'm going back to nature. It's only a matter of time before you start to hear rumours of the hare-lipped hiker wearing nothing but a guitar on his back and his heart on his sleeve. That'll be me.

Hmm. Well, it might be a marketing edge, who knows. But I really am using those shoes. I'm trying to get back to the original gait we allegedly have as young children, and we used to have as adults too, before the fairly recent advent of thick heeled shoes, which involves far more weight on the forefoot, and far less stomping on the heel. The latter has lead, research has shown, to a lot more stress injuries. And I'm a sucker for a bit of research.

So walking up The Hill is actually a bit harder at the moment. Simply because I'm using muscles in my achilles and shin that weren't getting much of an outing. But the shoes provide protection to my feet, without stopping me walking or running naturally. And it feels good.

I've always hated running, but I think I'm going to enjoy, at least a little bit, running in a more bare-footed style. I had a sprint up a slope and that felt good too. Just the strength in the muscles needing to adapt.

You may think this is all yet another middle age thing. And you might be right. I'm 50 next year, and I want to run the Kintyre 10km next May. Not because, as I said, that I like running. But simply to mark it in some way. Trying to get all The Boys to run with me. Don't know if they will. Doubt I'll beat 'em. I'll be trying. It's a goal.

And now I've made it either a bit tougher, or possibly, a bit easier, with this Bare Footed thing.

The Kenyans Can. Maybe I can too.


The line "I am standing on a mountain high" is from my unreleased song Bone Dry. 

Fee Comes Fourth

"I've Come To Appreciate"

Is it possible to fritter away an unlimited resource? Eyebrows have been raised.

Well, technically no. But Fear has been known to blind us. It can make us live as though The End Is Nigh. Hypochondria, and I've had mild outbreaks, causes us to focus on the unknown "maybes" to the point where we spend our time thinking only of dark, negative outcomes. And life ceases to be full of possibilities but becomes a rain-soaked wait for the final bus.

Life isn't limitless of course. But imagine if it was. Imagine if we KNEW it was. Imagine the focus we could give to each and every day IF we knew that we had all the time in the world. That, of course, was the theme of the film Groundhog Day in which Bill Murray's character Phil Connors, faced with endless repeats of the same 24 hours, finally learns to use them wisely.

But it could have gone another way. For a while it did. For a while Connor was gradually overcome with a fear of Eternity, leading to  hopeless despair, leading to him fruitlessly trying to take his own life. Fear leads to frittering. Albeit pointless frittering in the presence of an unlimited resource.

So Phil Connor kept waking up. But the trouble (or troulbe, as it is sometimes known) that an eternal future caused him,  gradually turned into potential. Potential for a new start, a new life, a new day. Potential to focus COMPLETELY on one thing at a time. And he ended up, among other things, making some beautiful ice sculptures, winning the love of a lovely lady...

...and becoming a good human being.

What a way to live. As though we were always going to wake up tomorrow. A way of being. Hopeful, grateful, concentrated living replacing the Fearful Fritter.

Life as though The End had been obliterated.


The line "I've come to appreciate" is from my unreleased song Great Escape. Released songs can be found at Fee Comes Fourth.